


New Life

by Iniren



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Family, Friendship/Love, Pregnancy, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-16 15:29:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19320961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iniren/pseuds/Iniren
Summary: Recovering from the abduction of her captain and re-visiting past losses, Dr. Crusher makes a big decision.  Events from “Family,” “Suddenly Human” and “Remember Me” referenced.





	1. New Life...

The two friends met for breakfast after their respective breaks.  Each full of thoughts and insights from their time apart wondering about the other’s experience.  The table was spread with the usual coffee pot and pastries, almond croissants today, a plate of sliced melon and their two places set, as usual.  Being in orbit around Earth was always a bit difficult for each of them reminders of the past, both good and bad.

 

The Borg had deeply wounded the captain.He’d told the counsellor that the nightmares had stopped and he now recognized them when they came and had mastery over them, but truthfully they still terrified him.They were reminders of losing his identity and the deaths of thousands of innocents, images of ships destroyed.He did not share that he often could hear and see the faces of those directly attacked by drones, how those nightmares haunted him the most.He found it both a blessing and curse to be counted human again.In the collective he’d felt very little, something about being connected spread the emotions out over the others, but now as a single human, he faced the full weight of anger, guilt, and grief alone.

 

Going home was hard and strange after being gone for so long, but he needed to go.There in La Barre he was not a captain, but Jean-Luc and because of their difficult history, nobody felt any loyalty to him.Robert hit all his fears and failings head on.It was brutal, honest, but it was love and reality.He could go on knowing he was human, accepting it and perhaps being better for the humility.

 

The doctor for her part stayed aboard, she didn’t have any close acquaintances on Earth, so she felt it better to allow her staff a little shore leave, the blessing of having loved ones was never lost on her.It had been just her and Wesley for so long, not everybody had that luxury.Going through her storage boxes had been hard, seeing Jack’s things brought her back to those lonely days after the accident. Wes saw the holo-recording, but said little about it.Still it seemed he felt a little more at peace about the father he barely remembered or perhaps he was still processing his feelings about it.She’d learned with her teenage son, it was better to not push.

 

She’d been worried about her friend and captain as well.They had such a long history, seeing him so changed and having to meticulously remove all the components was an ordeal.She’d wanted him to be on medical leave much longer, but Deanna had recommended light duty just so he could have some familiarity.For a man who’s identity had been stripped away, it made sense for him to return to the duties that were so much a part of his identity. They’d been through a lot over the years, but seeing his body and mind so violated had broken her heart.

 

“So how was your trip home?” she asked gently. 

 

“Good, better than I expected.Robert and I were able to work through some things.We’re at a good place, maybe understand each other a little better.”

 

“After the black eye and bruised knuckles, I’d hate to think what you’d look like if you were still not getting along…” He cringed, both embarrassed and amused to fight like little boys.She continued, “Anytime, you come into sickbay, I get a report, Jean-Luc. If you see anybody, but me, I know it’s something you’re a little embarrassed by.”

 

“Well, it’s how Robert and I worked it out… It was good talking about it with family, different than aboard ship… not that you haven’t been supportive, but with Robert there’s no filter, raw. I’m never ‘Captain,’ just the wayward younger brother.”

 

“You don’t have to be anything more than you are with me.I knew you before you were ‘the Captain.”She smiled remembering they had known each other since her cadet days and his junior officer days.She’d seen him as her husband’s friend and loved him the same way Jack had; she’d leaned on him as a young widow and he on her when he lost his first ship, the Stargazer.Even through years apart, they were friends and confidantes still.

 

“I know, Beverly, still it’s different…What about you?”

 

“Well, Wes watched that holo-recording from Jack, the one he made after Wes was born.”

 

“How did it go?”

 

“Well, I think.He hasn’t said much about it.He may want to ask you some things, I think, if it’s OK with you.” 

 

He nodded, “Of course, but maybe it’s something he’ll need to work through on his own.”

 

“It brought up all these memories of when Wes was small, how Jack and I had been thinking about having another baby someday.I kept putting it off because we were apart so much, hoping for a better time when we could be together as a family…in the end I basically raised Wes on my own.”

 

“You’ve done a wonderful job.I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you both.”He’d put aside the guilt over his best friend’s death, but not quite about how he’d stayed away.Seeing her made him remember and feel the loss more acutely, but looking back he felt he’d abandoned her. “Perhaps in the future, you’ll meet somebody new.”

 

“Maybe but if that never happens, maybe I’m just cheating myself out of experience.Every once in awhile I think, I could just do it on my own.Jack’s DNA is in the banks…”

 

She was staring off, clearly thinking about what she’d just said.Jean-Luc looked at her surprised. “Beverly what are you saying?”

 

“I think I’m saying maybe I’d like to have another child, like Jack and I had planned. Jean-Luc, I know you think it’s crazy, but as a friend, I’d love your support.”They sat stunned by the possibility of a child.Not so much the technical process, medical science had made it possible centuries before and progress had made it even simpler, but Jean-Luc wondered if his friend remembered the risks they faced on a regular basis, knowing that if anybody could do it this woman could.

 

“Yes, of course, I guess I’m just a little afraid.Terrorist, kidnappings, Romulans, we just got through the Borg,”His voice was strained.

 

“Doesn’t that mean time is short and not worth wasting?Do I only live life if it’s guaranteed safe to do so?”

 

“I know it’s selfish.I just…I.. don’t want to bring your body home to Wes and another little one.” 

 

He couldn’t believe he’d said it.It sounded so positively dark and self-centered, but that’s where he was right now.They sat with the blunt reality of their lives.He was right it was dangerous, he’d avoided emotional entanglements for that reason.She’d went forth head on with the faith, it was worthwhile.Fate had robbed her of her future with Jack, but still blessed her with Wes.She had no regrets and the courage to try again.

 

“I promise, Jean-Luc.I’ll take a little time to think on it some more, just to make sure this is something I want and to put your mind at ease…I’ve never blamed you for Jack, you have to know that.I wouldn’t have expected him to be anything less than who he was.Brave, loyal, dedicated and I know those qualities put him in harm’s way.It wasn’t your fault.”

Her voice always brought him calm.She’d told him the same before long ago, but right now he needed to hear it. He squeezed her hand, enjoying the simple pleasure of human contact, it grounded him and made him feel like anything was possible, perhaps even a little new life.

 

==============

 

“Beverly, I know you question my decision to send him back, but it was the right thing to return Jono to the only father he’s known,” the captain stated.He came to her office wanting to make sure she understood the decision, not that she would have questioned him, but he worried knowing her fears for the boy’s safety.She stared off into a corner of her office.Yes, sheunderstood when she saw the wound the boy inflicted on her captain. It was mild considering the boy had been trained in warfare, if he’d wanted to truly hurt the captain, he would have.

 

“I guess I wish we could have found some other alternative for his human family and for him.I can’t imagine losing a child the way Admiral Rossa had and to lose her grandson after just finding him.”They sat in silence a moment understanding the loss for everyone involved.“You were wonderful with him though, I know it must have been awkward at the start, especially with out much experience of your own.”

 

“Thank you, after the initial shock of having to do it, it occurred to meI’ve had to mentor a lot of young officers with even less maturity over the years.This was just much more personal than I was used to.”He wasn’t sure that her praise was really warranted, Jono had decided on the captain as a parental figure, he just tried his best. “It was difficult, but good to have your support and encouragement.”

 

“You’re too modest, you did the hard things on your own…worked through your own barriers, kept trying until you found some connection.”

 

“Maybe this isn’t the time to mention it, Beverly, have you given any thought about a second child?”She looked at him with surprise. “I’m sorry was that abrupt?It’s just I was thinking about it with my recent brush with parenting..”

 

“No, it’s OK.I just didn’t expect you’d take an interest.I’m fine and yes, I’ve decided to go forward.I don’t want to bore you with the details, but there’s some preparations that I need to make.Wes, was supportive, but did NOT want to hear any details about it.” 

He smiled imagining Wesley’s reaction, “No I imagine he would not. …I was thinking I wasn’t there for you and Wes after the accident.Surely I could have helped… been there for you.Perhaps if you’d wish it, I could be involved this time around… help in some way?Your encouragement was helpful to me with Jono and it was only for a short time.You’re embarking on something much longer term.”

 

“That’s very kind, Jean-Luc.Life prepared me to do a lot of things on my own and circumstances allow for me to continue my work, still it would be nice to have somebody to share the experience with.”

 

“As your friend, Beverly,please consider me as a sort of partner to you or godfather perhaps to your child.We’re on the same ship now, let me help you in anyway you feel you need.”

 

“Are you sure?Jack and I knew you weren’t interested in children,” her eyes glistening with emotion.She said nothing, but smiled stunned by the blessing of such a faithful friend.It pleased him to see her eyes alight with the gesture.Walker had been Wes’ godfather, knowing how Jean-Luc felt about children, they’d felt him a better choice, but now he was gone.She reached out for his hand and squeezed it in acceptance of his offer. He could feel her hand trembling and closed his other hand on top of hers, partly to steady her and partly for the sheer enjoyment of holding her.He nodded. 

 

Secretly he’d loved this woman for years, but in this moment she felt further from him than when he stood as best man at her wedding.Still it brought him joy watching her filled with love and hope.The grief of losing Jack kept them apart for years and he felt like he’d failed them both, but now he would be there for them and for this new life.After the horrors he’d just come through, it brought him hope for the future.

 

==========

For a change the captain was having dinner with his CMO and her son.After the experience with the warp bubble and nearly losing her, both men liked keeping her nearby and the doctor certainly enjoyedtheir company. Even with the customary formality of their captain, they laughed and spoke of ship’s business and occasional gossip.

 

“Well I do have some news.After you got me out of the warp bubble, I went to sickbay to get checked over and I found out… I’m pregnant.”She was clearly delighted by the news.The two men stared happy and a little shocked;one because it was his mom, and the other realizing that she really was ‘glowing.’

 

“That’s wonderful, Beverly.How do you feel?” her friend asked reaching to take her hands in his, completely oblivious to the young man’s awkward expression next to him.Her glow was catching and the captain beamed observing her happiness.

 

“Still very early, it was only because of the warp bubble I had to get the exam, so I’m finding out much earlier than I normally would have. Usually there’s at least a missed p…”

 

“Mom! I don’t want to hear this. I know we’re close and I support you, but …but I’ll be a big brother.”His expression changed from painfully awkward support to one of happiness for his mother and for himself.“I think I’m due for the Academy before the baby comes.Maybe I could postpone, what do you think, Captain?”

 

“Wes, you don’t need to do that.You’ve worked really hard and already postponed going, but you’re very sweet.I’ll be fine here.”

 

The captain continued, “I promised your mother I’d help in whatever way she needs.Of course, we’ve not really discussed what that would mean.”

 

“You did?”Wesley had never thought of his captain in any other way than a somewhat forbidding authority.It had never occurred to him other than these occasional moments, he had any other persona, though he noticed he was often more relaxed with his mother.It also occurred to the captain that he wasn’t really sure what he’d committed to; being a supportive friend or stand-in parent.The two men sat silently lost in their thoughts as the doctor watched them.She’d been through this before, so she knew what to expect and found these two novices’ responses amusing.

 

Rolling her eyes, she said, “Wes, Jean-Luc, I’ll be fine and I promise you both, if I need something I’ll let you know.Right now, I just want you to do what you do best and celebrate with me.”

 

There would be more conversations, more preparations, and more adjustments in the future, but this little ad-hoc family did celebrate.It was a time of healing and new beginnings.Beverly felt excited for a part of the love she’d lost, she regretted burying herself in work and ignoring life for so long. Wesley didn’t remember much about his father, but he did remember being happy and loved.It was similar to what he felt right now.Jean-Luc didn’t really count himself as part of a family, but an outsider privileged to be included.Of course, he felt duty bound to them, but selfishly his heart was full, knowing that a new future was forming in this very moment.


	2. Future Imperfect

It had been a trying experience to suddenly find oneself fifteen years in the future, have no memory of it, try to live it, find it was a Romulan fabrication, and escape only to find all of it was an illusion.Will had never felt more thankful for his currently life than the moment her returned to his quarters on the ship and never more looked forward to even the most mundane tasks, like crew performance reviews.He felt he should be angry with Baresh, but once the shock subsided, he saw the deception for what it was, the desperation of a very lonely child.

 

He went to Ten Forward looking to relax and enjoy familiar surroundings he knew.There he found Deanna and Beverly already sharing some refreshment and approached eager for the pleasure of their company.Since he met their CMO on Farpoint station, he’d enjoyed her warmth and humor, though he’d never admit to it he enjoyed the challenge of her poker skills in their regular poker nights.

“Hello, ladies,” he cheerfully greeted, “May I join you?I’m in need of some familiar companionship in my real life; not the future, no spies, captors, or any other adventure.”

 

“Beverly, I think he’s trying to tell us we’re boring.Should we allow him to join us after such an accusation?” Deanna laughingly replied.For all his expert charm and flirting, Deanna knew him well and could easily match him, when he was so obviously mischievous.

 

“Please, Will, join us. So how was your brush with family life apart from the fake Romulan kidnapping?” the doctor replied.

“Honestly?I felt more comfortable with the Romulans.It was disorienting to have a family, I’d supposedly forgotten about. While I like the idea in the future, it just felt like an enormous responsibility that I’m not ready for.”

 

Deanna couldn’t pass up a chance to make him squirm. “You may not be at the right table then, Will, because we were just talking about families and a baby in the not so distant future," she said with a pointed look.His playful smirk fell as if his former lover transformed into a Romulan before his eyes.

 

“Deanna, don’t torture the man.Will, it’s my family and my baby.”Now Will just looked confused, but Deanna was working hard to stifle her laugh. “I was just telling Deanna, I’m pregnant, 10 weeks, a little girl.”

 

“Beverly, but how? When?”

 

“After the Borg and going back to Earth, I realized put all my family plans on hold since Jack died. So I thought since there’s never a “perfect” time, I decided to go ahead with the family we’d planned long ago.”

 

“Congratulations!Wes will be a big brother then. How does he feel about that?"

“Yes, he’s excited a little overwhelmed.I’ve only told you and Deanna, the captain and Wes of course.”

 

Deanna watched as the banter between the two continued.She could sense some feelings of awkwardness given the large gap that would space her two children and that her husband had been dead for over ten years, but overwhelmingly she sensed great joy and hope.In the years she’d known the doctor and her warm and cheerful demeanor, there was always a tint of grief and longing.She had suspected something had changed in recent weeks, as that subtle darkness had largely faded.

 

She also noticed the change in the captain.After the Borg, he’d been especially reserved, as if he was deliberately walling off emotions so terrible he could not face them.Outwardly he seemed his usual authoritative, self-assured, and professional self, but after being shaken and stripped of his identity, it was impossible for the feelings of guilt and grief to be hidden.Though in the last weeks, she’d felt something new, hope and anticipation for the future slowly supplanting the darkness.She was thankful for the close friendship Beverly had with the captain and the healing this new life was bringing to both of them.

“So Deanna,” the doctor continued, “Can I count on you for babysitting with Will?”

“Yes … Yes of course.I also recommend ‘Deanna’ as a very good name.Much better than ‘Willamena’” she answered shooting a playful glance to the first officer.


	3. “Final Mission”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nearly forgot this one!

Deanna watched the doctor bustling in sickbay, trying not to dwell on the reality that her son was missing.  The telepath sensed her anxiety and determination to stay focused on the tasks at hand needed for the radiation victims.  Every once in awhile she noticed how her friend would brush her hand over her still flat abdomen, sensing waves of emotion coming from the action.  Somehow the presence of a new life growing within her both empowered and terrified the doctor.  As a counsellor she knew despite all of Beverly’s insistence that her friend was not “fine.”

 

“Beverly if you need to talk, I’m here.I know what you must be feeling,” As soon as the words left her lips, she regretted saying it.She’d wanted her friend to not feel alone even if she wasn’t ready to talk, but was unprepared for the doctor’s response.

 

“Deanna.You have NO idea what I’m feeling.I can’t talk about them now.” The words came sharper than either woman would have expected.It wasn’t the words as much as the slap of rage that broke through the doctor’s calm facade and stunned her into silence.In the doctor’s eyes it was clearly not about being busy; it was about losing control.The counsellor nodded and left silently for her office and once alone, wept with the full weight of emotion that had been lobbed at her.

======

“Doctor, he’s awake,” Nurse Ogawa said as she woke the CMO.The doctor had fallen asleep in her office while both her son and captain in sickbay.She shook off her sleep and walked up to the captain lying on the biobed in the private room beside her office.

 

“Beverly,” he smiled, “How are you?”

 

“I think I’m suppose to ask you that.I’m alright now, we’re alright,” she said softly, indicating her barely-there belly.“Wes is sleeping, just the heat and dehydration.”

 

His brow furrowed slightly, looking at her sadly he said, “I’m so sorry.I shouldn’t have asked him, but I wanted just a little more time with him, since he was leaving…he’s a remarkable young man.”Truthfully, Jean-Luc enjoyed the young man’s company,over the years he looked more and more like Jack; earnest, talented, and loyal.Wesley had become a reminder of happy times in his youth and the optimism that had tarnished with all the difficulties of the past year.

 

“He loved going on missions with you.Maybe until he leaves you can come by for dinner or breakfast,” she replied.

 

“No. It’s family time for you and Wesley… I’d be intruding.” 

 

“Jean-Luc, you are family. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but you are.Besidesas your doctor, I’ll be monitoring your recovery from the injuries and dehydration, including your nutritional intake, so consider yourself served with medical orders.”

 

“Yes, sir,” he smiled and she kissed him gently on the top of his head.This had been a scene they’d played out many times before.He was injured and she was patching him up.She treated him like a little boy who’d gotten into a scrape and he pouted like a boy who’d been caught.He pretended to hate her meddling and she pretended to be annoyed at such a difficult patient.They each liked this game because the reality was they were meeting on the line between death and life. “So when can I get out of here?”She laughed and rolled her eyes.

 

========

 

Deanna was surprised by her next scheduled appointment.It was unusual that their CMO made a formal appointment, being friends they had handled most things informally…with chocolate.Wesley and the captain had been rescued and were recovering in sickbay, and only then could Beverly wrap her mind around the feelings that had lashed out earlier.

 

“Deanna, I’m so sorry for before.I’m sure I threw some very difficult words and emotions at you in sickbay,” the doctor apologized.It was Beverly’s nature to be nurturing to those closest to her even in her darkest moments.Over the years she’d seen how particularly strong emotions could wound or overwhelm her empathic friend and she felt terrible if she’d caused her pain. She squeezed the telepath’s hand as she sat down across from her.

 

“I understood, Beverly.”

“It was just too much and excruciatingly slow motion.With my parents I was too young to remember losing them and with Jack it was sudden.This time I had to just wait and not know.I was so angry,”she said.Deanna merely listened until Beverly continued, “I was mad at myself.Angry that I let myself feel ‘safe.’I’d started to believe and trust my life here, trusting people to be there and then I felta little like everything was ripped out from under me…alone again.”

 

“And now?” 

 

“Not angry, just thankful, I guess. Deanna...I don’t know ifI can do this anymore."

 

“Beverly, what do you want?”

 

“I want to feel safe again.I guess it’ll come in time, but it was so good to just enjoy my little family; the baby, Wes and even Jean-Luc and then it was nearly gone.”

 

“You include the captain in your family.”

 

“I guess I do.Maybe because I so associate him with Jack and he’s been a very steady presence in our lives on board.”

 

As a counsellor Deanna wanted to go further with that, but as a friend, she just couldn’t.It was an unspoken rule not to cross the lines Beverly had drawn around the captain.Deanna knew for a fact the captain had drawn similar lines around his CMO.She hoped one day they would resolve the borders, rather than trapping their friends in the neutral zone of neither friends, nor lovers, but today wasn’t the day.In the end the two women did end up sharing something chocolate and focused on today’s feelings, how prior losses colored her outlook, and the transition to Wes being away. Today she needed to know somebody was there for her.


	4. The Host

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The host - I'm setting this earlier in the pregnancy. I believe McFadden was "big as a house" when it was filmed. If I incorporated that, it made for a kind of creepy Odan. So I imagine this happens right after Wesley leaves for the Academy.

"Odan, I'm flattered, but you should probably know I have... a life growing inside me now," the doctor said. She was trying to put it delicately, but it came out awkwardly. She was still just barely showing, especially in her blue sweater.She liked calling it “ambiguously pregnant,” noticeable, but not enough that anybody would dare ask.  

She found the ambassador charming, attractive and frankly a lot of fun and she didn't want any surprises if they started a relationship. She accepted that she'd already made decisions that put her on a trajectory that, in her experience, scared off most romantic partners, so she was totally unprepared for his response.

 

"Of course, I understand." Considering, he'd been joined as well it felt even more right to pursue her. Whatever magical combination of beauty, vivacity, and charm were only heightened by her revelation.Honestly, he didn't really understand why she needed to state it, other it must be a matter of protocol being on a ship that encountered so many different species. 

 

"You do?...Well ... alright then," she replied as she took his arm.

 

====

_ Leave Starfleet? Would she?  _ The captain had grown so accustomed to her presence and came to look forward to hearing about his impending god-daughter.He had not anticipated how he enjoyed hearing about the trivial details of a growing life, he'd always considered things like home as family as distractions. But now, somehow they tinted the drab standard-issue Starfleet grays with a new light and color.

 

The entire conversation with the ambassador irritated him. He noticed she'd not shared a meal with him since the ambassador arrived. He wasn't blind, he saw how his CMO looked at the man, howshe deliberately looked away and involuntarily blushed when he came in the room. It had never occurred to him that other than the job she loved there was little keeping her on the Enterprise. Until this conversation he had consoled himself with the knowledge the ambassador would be gone in a few weeks time, but now he questioned his inaction.

 

======

Beverly was rattled by Odan in Will's body. She'd confronted him about not telling her about the symbiont, he'd countered with her own words that made him feel she already knew.  _A life growing inside me._ He thought a symbiont, she meant a child. If she didn't feel so miserable, she'd laugh about it.

 

Then she'd gone to his quarters to check on his medical status, a ploy of course because she wanted much more. The romance, the passion; it had been too long since she'd felt that way. She kissed him, but he was unusually restrained, undoubtedly because he was borrowing Will's body or Will's general resistance to the thought of family responsibility colored Odan's reaction.  _Maybe Odan was resistant, he didn't realize I meant a child._ Beverly never felt so very alone in that moment.

 

Then there was Jean-Luc, her captain. " _ Whatever else I am to you, I am your friend _ _._ " Friend didn't seem like the right word. None of her other friends had been so supportive, so available. Was it guilt that made him so constant or something more? She'd been prepared to raise this child alone as she had with Wesley, but now she realized maybe she wanted more than just a child. She wanted a home, complete with love in all its wonderful forms: familial, friendship, and romantic. 

 

======

"Penny?" 

The word from her captain, roused her out ofher thoughts. She'd avoided her friend and captain after Odan left, but finally accepted his most recent invitation to dinner. She felt embarrassed, she thrown herself at the Will-version of Odan and as gently as he could, he rejected her. Now weeks later, she'd decided enough was enough and it was time to join the living again.

 

"You know, Jean-luc, I was thinking I'm really not that disappointed Odan is gone. I felt awful at first, but where did I think that relationship was really going? He'd be gone in a few weeks, I wasn't going to chase after him," the doctor said resolutely.

 

"I'm glad to hear that. We're both a little too old for fairy tales and princesses that run off with princes they just met."

 

She laughed, "I never thought of my self as the princess type." Pausing for a moment, her face turned solemn. "Still there was a moment when I thought he knew about the baby, I felt like I'd really had everything I wanted. A career, friends, a little family, romance. I guess it's too much to hope for."

 

Her captain looked as if he was about to say something, but changed his mind. He hopelessly tangled in the messy lines of professional detachment, honor, friendship and love. Instead he nodded and squeezed her hand. "New worlds, new civilizations, perhaps new beginnings are possible. Now why don't you update me on your last scans."

 

He knew thinking of the baby always brought her mood around and truthfully he enjoyed it. He was relieved, she would stay and be content, but he had the slightest feeling that he would not be.


	5. "Data's Day"

"I am now prepared to dance at the wedding,” announced the android.

 

“Data, you didn’t tell me this was for the wedding!They don’t do a lot of tap dancing at weddings,” Beverly said gasping.

Though it was still early along in her pregnancy, she definitely felt the fatigue from the tap routine she threw at Data.She hadn’t anticipated him catching on so quickly so she quickly found her self dancing at a much higher level than she had planned. “Let me teach you a style of dancing they will do at the wedding.”

 

She was thankful a simple foxtrot and she could lean on his android frame.It occurred to her that the tap shoes would undoubtedly do a number on her back later that evening, plus having her toes trodden on by an android wasn’t going to help.She made note as she received a call about Lt. Juarez’s baby, she should take more care to rest.

====

“Jean-Luc, what are you doing here in sickbay?”Beverly asked only to be answered by him pressing a finger to his lips.She came and stood beside him, closer than she normally would in public, but it was late and they were alone. She smiled and whispered, “Did you come to see the baby?’

 

Nodding he continued, whispering, “I try to welcome all the new crew members.”She looked at him surprised, “I never realized.”

 

He nodded and sighed. "Everybody aboard is my responsibility…It’s frightening how close we came to a battle for survival on his first day,” pausing he continued, “How are you feeling by the way?I heard that you taught Data to dance.”

 

“I’m a little tired, but no harm done.I know things were very tense on the bridge, it made me wonder if I’d made a mistake about the baby, but somehow seeing this little one, makes it seem so right.”He put his arm around her waist pulling her closer and she responding similarly.It was unusual, but in this moment neither seemed to even notice, but just enjoyed the stillness settling on them.Tomorrow would bring it’s own cares, but now wasa moment forpeace.


	6. Devil's Due

The captain groanedwith annoyance. Ardra appeared scantily dressed in his room and cut him off from his ship.He did not understand why she felt compelled to pursue him in this way, other than she relished the challenge.He could see through her tricks and he was disgusted by her manipulation.

  
“Oh, come now, Picard. You know you find me tantalising. Give in to your desires,” she purred.

  
“You know, there's nothing about you I find tantalising. On the contrary, I find you obvious and vulgar," he said in clipped irritation.

  
“Easily fixed.” Suddenly appearing in Victorian clothing, she continued, “I can be your ideal woman, Picard. Prim and proper. And chaste, until I succumb to your charms. Or would your fantasies turn more toward a professional woman, one perhaps who wears a Starfleet uniform? Perhaps I could even be…” With a flourish his CMO appeared before him in uniform, but with decidedly different demeanor. 

  
“Someone close at hand and yet unavailable, somebody who can be the home and family you secretly want. I can do anything for you, Captain. Anything you could ever imagine.”She approached seductively and attentively stroking his cheek with her slender hand and letting it slide delicately down his chest.For a fraction of a moment he weakened while Beverly’s lips hovered just before his, but shook himself from the illusion. 

 

Reappearing as herself Ardra asked, “I could give you a night that would light fire in your dreams until you die and you would reject me?”

  
“Oh, yes,” he said resolutely.If she hadn’t flourished into herself at that moment, he may have believed this master manipulator.He couldn’t explain how she might have known his feelings about Beverly, when truthfully he didn’t fully understand them at all until that moment.He never admitted the envy he had for Jack because of Beverly’s love, but it had never been so plainly brought forth and it exposed him.

 

Thankfully when Ardra re-appeared as herself, she revealed her insecurity and need to prove her identity.The captain reasoned that a true omnipotent and omniscient being would not require financial forecasts, nor to prove themselves.She was playing games and he knew her tricks. Though he was very irritated when he was transported to the surface in his sleeping attire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always felt it was supposed to be Crusher appearing in his quarters, as Troi didn't wear a Starfleet uniform. Just saying.


	7. Qpid

Beverly approached the captain’s quarters, eager to share their morning meal and her news.She’d just had her seventh monthprenatal check and the baby was looking healthy.When the captain opened the door, she hurriedly apologized, “I'm sorry I'm late. Oh. Excuse me. I didn't realise you had company. 

  
“That's all right. Er, allow me to introduce you. This is Beverly, Doctor Beverly, Doctor Beverly Crusher. This is Vash. She's a friend of mine from the Archaeology Council.”

  
“I didn't mean to interrupt. The captain and I often share morning tea together. I update him on sickbay business and family,” indicating her growing belly. She getting to the more awkward phase, where she had to watch her step and people would randomly pet and talk to her belly. As happy as she was, she missed her slim body and as big as a house.

  
“Yes, I know. Jean-Luc has told me all about you, but he didn't mention you being with anybody," the slim burnette answered.

  
“Really? When was that?”

  
“On Risa, where we met.”

  
“I see. That must have been during your vacation last year. The baby came after he came back," suddenly realizing how that sounded, "I mean, the baby's mine."

  
“No. Yes. Yes,” the captain stuttered.In all social disasters, it is a universal truth that time slows in proportion to the magnitude of the disaster.Jean-Luc was quite sure time had nearly stopped. Both women were a bit surprised or annoyed at the other’s presence and it was obvious that the captain felt flustered by their presence. 

 

“Well, I'm surprised he never mentioned you,” Beverly continued.

  
“So am I. Doctor, are you busy? I was wondering, I would love to see some more of this marvelous ship.”

  
“I would be delighted to show it to you. That is, if it's all right with you, Jean-Luc.”

  
“Of course,” replied the captain.Yes, time was definitely creeping along with this disaster and his nerves were not stilled by Vash’s reassurance, “Don’t worry, I promise to behave myself.”

 

========

The senior staff stared at the sunlit forest was now in place of the Ten-Forward and the archeological council.The captain, first and second officers stared at one another and their new dress; Medieval leggings, tunics and boots. 

 

“Have we been transported Tagus?” the  counselor asked.

 

“I doubt there are many oak trees on Tagus. No, I think this is supposed to be Earth, somewhere round about the twelfth century. And this is England, or to be more precise, Sherwood Forest. Or at least Q's recreation of it,” the captain replied.

  
“That would explain these costumes,” Riker muttered. 

  
“Quite right, Number One. Or should I say, John Little.”

  
“Well, if I’m Little John, that makes you..”

  
“I know. Robin Hood.”

  
Worf frustratedly roared, “Sir, I protest. I am not a merry man.”

  
“On the contrary, Lieutenant Worf. Your clothing identifies you with the character of Will Scarlett, just as this mandolin identifies me as Alan A-Dale,” succinctly explained the android.As he felt nothing, he merely stated his observations as if nothing were particularly out of the ordinary.They heard a groan of frustration and the group turned to see their livid doctor.

  
“I hate him!If he wasn’t omnipotent, I’d kill him myself!” she yelled.

 

Trying to suppress his amusement, Riker stated, “And you, Dr. Crusher, bear a striking resemblance to Friar Tuck.”Dressed in a friar’s habit and holding a mutton leg, the glare she answered him with was a caution to keep his bowstaff nearby at all times, lest his doctor forget her medical oath to do no harm.

 

At that moment Q appeared as a nobleman based in his period regalia.Ostentatious and obnoxious, he greeted them, “Good afternoon, you rabble. I hope you enjoy my little lesson for your captain.”

 

“Q!” exclaimed the CMO and captain simultaneously. The CMO continued, “Friar Tuck! Really!!!” The captain held her back seeing her lunge toward the ignoble nobleman undoubtedly ready to put the mutton leg to good use.

 

“Come come, doctor, hormonal are we? I thought you’d appreciate my accommodation of your… condition.Really, Picard, you should find a less fiery physician. How will your crew ever recover from the disasters you lead them into?”

=======

 

“Well aren’t you going to kiss her goodbye?” Q asked. Then noting their pointed glares, he snapped himself out with a flash. The captain kissed her, he’d enjoyed yet another adventure, but was eager to return to his life.He extracted assurances from Q for her safety because while he didn’t love her, he certainly cared for her well-being.As he settled into his chair he sighed and was startled when Q popped his head in again.

 

“Picard, are you sure you don’t want me to take the pregnant one away?She really does seem a handful.”

 

“Good bye, Q.”

 

“Suit yourself, but I think I have the fun one,” as he blinked himself away, Picard could only hope it would be a long time before he appeared again.He thought for a moment how, he was very pleased that Beverly was on board with him. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if Q had meant that to be a kindness to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working through the episodes, just for this one. Because it would gave been so funny.
> 
> I had to push this one later swapping it for the time in "The Host," but it works better.


	8. In Theory

Beverly laughed as Data asked her his questions about relationships. He wanted to know if he should pursue a pretty lieutenant or not. In many ways Data reminded her of Wesley; logical and brilliant in anything technical, but hopelessly muddled with relationships.    _ If I'm honest the whole senior staff is a little muddled in relationships.   _

She was the only one who had even attempted committing to a long-term relationship and that ended over a decade ago. Since then merely flirtations, brief encounters, so despite her greater experience, she was in the same category as the others.

 

"Data, I don't know what to tell you. Love is a blessing and wonderful, but in this case, Jenna is the one who can get hurt."

 

"Yes. I am aware of that fact. Doctor, You have previously remarked on the difficulty of losing your husband. Would you have preferred not having known him if it spared you the difficulty?" She was amused and hurt by the comparison of her marriage and subsequent loss to a new romance, but with Data, she'd learned to be patient. He was learning things with the logic of a child, but embarking on things no child would ever face. 

 

"No, Data, I would not have changed any of the decisions I've made, but the end of a romance isn't quite the same. You may want to take things slowly."

 

"Slowly, like you and Captain Picard?"

 

"Excuse me?!" It came out more sharply than she intended and she felt bad for the poor android's surprise, but the question had shocked her. He was a master at observation, awkward in the assessment, and hopelessly blunt with his commentary. 

 

"I apologize if I have offended you. I have observed that you and Captain Picard, share a relationship that appears more intimate than that of colleagues.I have heard others remark on that the two of you have what appears to be called a ‘slow burn.’Also Wesley had remarked that as a child, he’d often wished that you and…”

 

 

“I get the idea, Data…We just have a longer history." It was her standard explanation though she was unnerved that it was a topic of conversation for others.Beverly expertly re-directed the conversation. "Anyway, as to Jenna, I don't know if I can really help you. Just know relationships REALLY don't function as logically as a program you create."

 

=========

 

At their usual breakfast, she winced with the baby's strengthening kicks. Her general size has now gotten to the point of being definitely gravid and awkward. He looked up with concern at her reaction he asked, "Is my god-daughter dancing like her mother?"

 

She nodded, "I had an interesting conversation with Data about relationships yesterday.”

 

Smiling, "Couldn't avoid it? I told him I'd be happy to advise him once I'd learned anything about understanding women...."

 

"....and then hid in your ready room, no doubt," she said playfully.

 

“I prefer thinking of it as a strategic withdrawal.How did you end up advising him?"

 

“I told him to take things slow in consideration of her emotions... He did share some interesting observations about us though.He said we have a relationship ‘more intimate than that of colleagues’ and that others had described our relationship as a ‘slow burn.”

 

He winced slightly at that statement, flustered he said, “I’m sorry, I had no idea…Not that I’d mind being associated with you.Perhaps it’s my fault I’ve let you involve me in your current life circumstance, now people have gotten the wrong impression…” trailing off his face suddenly looked grave. “Good Lord! Beverly, they probably think the baby is mine.”

 

He looked genuinely concerned and embarrassed.She suddenly questioned including in him the prenatal checks, the regular breakfasts and occasional dinners, the outings to holodecks… Her concerns must have registered on her face because he quickly added, “Of course, I would have considered it an honor, but still… in my position… in your position…”

 

“I certainly hope they’re not imagining our positions when this happened,” indicating her belly with a mischievous glance.She couldn’t help but laugh at this point.He could face, angry admirals, Klingon and Romulan standoffs with a rock solid serenity, but before some good old-fashioned gossip, he was decidedly alarmed. M 

“I’m being absurd, I suppose, but I hate anybody thinking I’m abusing my authority or history with you.”

 

“Anybody who knows you, knows you wouldn’t.Anybody who knows me, knows I wouldn’t put up with that."

 

The captain thought for a moment.She was right of course, but there was something more in the way she said it, like she was resigned to it only being gossip. Was it disappointment he saw in her or was it disappointment he himself felt?Just then he realized, he wished that the gossip was true; that they were just taking it slow, they were having a child together, that in the inconstancy of their journey through space, they’d found a home with one another.

Cautiously he began, “Beverly, this isn’t the right time to discuss it I suppose, but you should know.I find myself wishing the gossip was all true.”She looked at him calm but stunned and silent.She’d been so committed to doing life on her own as she had for so long, it never occurred to her thatshe might have already found somebody who wanted the same things as she did.

 

He continued, “Since the Borg, I found things that once would satisfy and reward me aren’t quite enough anymore. Then I reconciled with my brother, you included me with the baby, Jono, even that woman on Ventax, I’m slowly realizing that family and attachments aren’t the entanglements I thought they were.That maybe they are the foundation that makes all the exploration, the negotiations for peace, and everything else worthwhile.”

 

At this point she looked away staring unfocused at some corner of the room she asked, “Jean-Luc, are you saying you want more than what we have now?” 

 

Then after a seemingly infinite silence, he said, “Yes.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Yes. I’m saying I want you and the baby and a life together.”

 

Stunned, she’d always considered him Jack’s friend and to a lesser degree her friend.While she enjoyed his company and would admit to an attraction between them, he’d never made any particular indication of feeling anything more.As she absorbed the information, a seed of ire germinated and she could feel it grow and build until it finally burst forth.

 

“Now?You want to start something now?!” She spat the words at him, “You have atrocious timing, Jean-Luc.I’m a four weeks away from giving birth to my long dead husband’s baby and you choose now?…”She went on spitting out a jumbled mess of insecurities, lingering frustrations; her companion stoically listening, while inwardly feeling as though his hopes were crumbling before him. Finally, she stood up suddenly to leave and immediately regretted doing so as the room began to swirl and in her mind…  _orthostatic hypotension complicated by increased demand maternal circulatory system..._

 

=========

 

She woke up in sickbay feeling the disorienting after-affects of a mild sedative. _We use those hyposprays too much._ Dr. Selar standing over her asked, “Doctor, How are you feeling? Your child has suffered no negative complications,” the Vulcan physician preemptively answered. 

 

“What happened?"

 

"Captain Picard had you beamed directly to sickbay. He explained you had fainted during a ... disagreement." The Vulcan had become accustomed to emotional responses serving with a mostly human crew, but from her slightly raised eyebrow indicated that she felt this was an over-reaction. Beverly looked around and her captain approached from a corner where he'd been waiting quietly, still reserved and impossible to read.

 

"Dr. Selar, can I return to my quarters?"

 

"Yes. Your vital signs as that of the child are stable, but please return should you experience any other unusual symptoms. You have been placed on medical leave for the rest of the day.”Beverly felt very self-conscious anytime she was a patient in her own sickbay, but was glad it was the Vulcan physician.She would treat her with efficiency and most importantly with no commentary or unnecessary questions.

 

"I'll walk you back to your quarters, Doctor Crusher," the captain said formally as he helped her sit up on the biobed and eventually to stand.They said nothing in the corridors and to her it seemed odd considering everything that had been said at breakfast.It was awkward, partly because things needed to be said and partly because he insisted on supporting her though she was fully bearing her own weight. 

 

Once inside she watched as he helped her onto her sofa, going to her bedroom to bring her grandmother’s quilt, then going to the replicator and ordering a pot of tea. When he’d finished all these actions, he finally said, “Is there anything else you require?”

 

“No?” the doctor was bewildered.

 

“Very well, I’ll leave you to rest,” he succinctly replied as he gave a slight nod and slowly turned to leave.

 

Beverly watched him unsure if he was really leaving and as he reached the door, she said, “Jean-Luc, come back.We need to talk.”

 

Without turning he softly said, “I’m very sorry, Beverly.You were right, you’re in no position to begin anything new.”

 

She laughed a little, “I couldn’t even try standing up with out fainting.”Hearing her laugh he turned around slowly.Smiling a little, he sat across from her.She expected him to reach for her hand, but he kept them folded quietly in his lap, hiding behind a wall of reserve and professional distance.

 

“I’m sorry too, I really don’t know why I reacted like that.I guess with all the ups and downs, the impending due date, gossip, relationship questions… everything got to be too much to sort out and you kind of gave me something big..."

 

“We’re rather a sorry pair," he answered slowly, "I do still want to thank you for including me with the baby, I understand if you don’t want me involved any longer, considering how you feel.”

 

“Of course I’d want you involved, I’ve enjoyed having you there.  With Wesley, I did it mostly alone and having you here this time, it made me wish Jack had been there,” she paused realizing what he’d meant, she continued, “Jean-Luc, are you talking about how I feel about you?”

 

Nodding he said, “It seemed upsetting to you and it was wrong of me.”

 

“No, not wrong.You were telling me how you felt and I was caught off guard.Truthfully, I’d be lying if I said I'd never thought a long the same lines.  You'd never given any real indications of wanting more.”

 

He brightened at her words, but she continued, “I’m not saying, I’m ready right now, but maybe after the baby and I’ve had a little time to settle, we can talk about it more.For now, I like having your help and your support.”She reached her hand out to him and he kneeled beside her to take it, gently kissing her cheek.

 

“Then you have it, in anyway you wish.”

 

The two went on to plan, how to handle gossip, the upcoming birth, how they might proceed in a relationship.He explained about the woman on Ventax and how she tried tempting him with her image, how Q had offered to leave Vash and take her instead.She explained how she loved seeing his face light up when he heard the baby’s heartbeat and how meals with him helped her adjust to Wesley’s absence. Somewhere in their conversations, their concerns about their friendship faded and optimism for their love began to take root.Both agreed the timing wasn’t right, but both were confident it would be. 

 

Both decided neither knew enough about relationships to advise the most curious of androids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybody faints I feel it should be with good reason. I may re-edit for flow later.


	9. Chapter 9

Redemtion

 

“Out with it, Jean-Luc. You’ve been wanting to say something all night.”

 

He looked at her as a schoolboy caught daydreaming in class. He was always quiet at dinner, but unusually so tonight, a kind of restless quiet that only came when he was trying to say something disagreeable.Personally he didn’t feel like he had a right to say anything, but as captain he was wondering if he could, but it was a stretch.

 

“Beverly, I received a request from Starbase 23.There’s a Dr. Armin who wanted to meet with you regarding the Borg implants you removed from me.I was thinking we could drop you there before the mission to Qo’nos and perhaps pick you up afterwards.You could have a little shore leave before the baby,” he said pleasantly.His CMO often looked forward to meeting academic medical colleagues as she had less opportunity onboard the ship.He was hoping she’d jump at the chance.

 

“So you want to divert the ship a day away to get to 23, so I can chat with a colleague, who I’ve only met once at a conference?” she asked skeptically.He knew he’d been found out. “Jean-Luc, are you worried about the Klingons?”

 

“To be honest, yes.You’re getting very close to your due date and I’d rather not ..”

 

“…worry about me, while you’re dealing with the Klingon High council.”He nodded.

 

“The safety of everybody onboard, including you, is my responsibility…

 

‘…and the health of everybody onboard is mine,” she said gently, but firmly.“My condition still allows me to accomplish my duties.You’re not evacuating all the civilians and families to the starbase, so why me?”

He frowned, he knew he didn’t have a reason other than his own feelings about it.Klingon politics could be so unpredictable, dark.He hoped to maintain order and peace, perhaps allow Worf to redeem his family name after his discommendation. The thought of his best friend and, if he were honest with himself, the woman he loved being at risk in her condition drove him to distraction. “I suppose it’s old-fashioned, but I can’t help feeling you’re more vulnerable.”

 

“Well it’s somewhat valid. I’m certainly not going to win any sprints and probably not in a good position for hand to hand combat, but I don’t think you’ll need me on an away team. Besides if you need me, I’d like to make sure I’m here to patch you up.”

 

He understood, she had her duty and she was equally dedicated to it.She didn’t want to wonder on shore leave if she would receive word something disastrous had happened. Smiling sadly, “I suppose if we’re going to stop a Klingon civil war, this might be the time I’d need my best doctor aboard.”

 

They smiled and continued with their meal.When the captain had settled into a more peaceful state, the doctor said softly, “I worry about you too… when you’re on an away mission.”Lowering her eyes, “You’re very important to me.”

 

He brightened little with her words, “As you are to me,” he said. 

 

“I find especially after a long shift, I wish you were there just to help me with my boots.It’s getting hard to pull them off," she said laughing. 

 

He paused he rose to clear the now empty dishes.Pausing as an idea crossed his mind, he set the dishes in the replicator and quietly took the seat beside her and without looking at her directly, he said, “I could stay with you in your quarters just so you’d have somebody nearby, if you needed some help. My quarters are larger, but there’s only one room or I could have a spare bed brought in.”

 

“You want to move in with me?” she asked, “you’d do that?”

 

“I’ve been thinking about it, ever since you stumbled off the transporter pad and fainted last time. There’s no guarantee I’ll be there to help you with your boots. Then again there’s no guarantee you’ll be home needing help with them at the same time.”They both laughed realizing the demands of their professions. They figured whatever the crew thought of them thus far hadn’t affected the running of the ship, so on a purely practical level the move would benefit them.The idea slowly grew on them and the evening ended with plans for a sort of trial run.

 

=======

He came to her quarters with bag in hand as they had planned. Given the situation on Qo'nos, he wished circumstances had been different, calmer. He'd never liked the idea of civilians on board, especially children, and now that he was directly involved with one, he liked the idea even less. Still Beverly was an dedicated officer and the child would be with her regardless of the situation, so he'd resolved to take her example and focus on the task at hand.

 

He entered her quarters and set down his bag. She was in her bedroom from the sounds of shuffling he could hear and was considering calling out as a matter of greeting.

 

"Oh thank goodness you're here. Come in. I need your help," she called from her room. He walked in to find her in just her underwear and a towel, clearly just finishing a shower. She was fanning her now rounded belly frantically, eyes closed, clearly in discomfort. "The hypospray it's on the floor, I can't quite reach it."

 

He picked it up quickly and handed it to her. She sighed with relief as she administered it and sat on the bed beside him as he kneeled on the floor. He stated at her bare belly and watched with eyes wide with amazement as he watched a bump glide across the surface.

 

"You're my hero. Pregnancy-related rash," she explained, "I was hoping i wouldn't have it this time, but it started this morning."

 

"Is this normal?" He asked.

 

"The rash, not for everyone. It itches then burns for me. Thank goodness they have medication for it even if it wears off." she answered.

 

"No, I mean the moving." She was puzzled until she realized what he'd meant. At that moment she realized her state of undress and pulled on her robe.

 

Laughing she said, "Yes, it is at this stage. Come feel." Taking his hand he pressed it against her belly to where her daughter twisted and danced. He looked at their hands concentrating to feel the movement, other than offering structural support, he'd never actually touched her belly before. She enjoyed watching the look of wonder as he'd felt the bumps and strokes of her daughter. "She's dancing I think, not tap, maybe lyrical or ballet."

 

Reluctantly he pulled his hand away, "Thank you for the performance..." he paused not having a name with which to address her, "...to a tiny dancer. Have you thought of a name?"

 

"I have a few in mind, but none decided. How were things with the High Council?"  she asked as she dressed. 

He went on to relate his frustrations, his concerns for Worf, the safety and security of the ship, and the quadrant because of Romulan involvement. She always knew these things weighed on him but he'd never said it so plainly. She stood beside him resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. They went on to share a meal and as they retired to their respective rooms, both felt it was a comfort to have somebody to talk to.

=======

Beverly came to his ready room, she knew after their meeting with Sela, he'd need somebody. He'd taken Tasha's death hard, had such hopes for her as she rose above her bleak childhood. Plus the death he remembered had been unnecessary and worthless.

 

She needed somebody too, knowing that Tasha had somehow survived was a blow. She'd been there powerless to stop her death and yet here was proof she'd survived in some other timeline. When she came in he was staring out his window at the stars, he looked at her and nodded. She merely stood beside him hand wrapped around his arm.

 

There wasn't anything to say, they didn't understand it, there was tragedy behind it and they merely needed to go on, but took comfort that they went on together.

 

=======

 

After the strain of the mission to the Klingon homeworld, the crew was eager for something to celebrate and there were many reasons. Crisis averted, Worf's honor restored, Data's return to the ship, and the impending birth of their doctor's daughter. The senior staff gathered in the conference room and joked and laughed. There was talk of names and gifts.

 

The doctor had a moment of clarity listening to the laughter and affection. She'd always felt lost and without a home, losing her parents, her home on Arvada, and Jack. She'd been run to the stars thinking she never needed a home, but amongst those dearest to her, she realized this was her home and they were her family. She'd lost too many people, but somehow in this moment she saw that fate had filled the gap.

 

As she settled into her quarters under the watchful presence of her oldest friend, she wondered if fate had given her yet another gift. They retired to their respective rooms, but she continued to ponder the possibility that her dearest friend may be infinitely dearer. Finally, after being unable to sleep she rose determined to find out.

 

The captain had settled quickly into slumber so he did not hear his friend knock quietly at his door. He didn't hear her call his name quietly from the door. He startled when he felt Beverly's hand touch his shoulder gently.

"Is it time?!?" he asked.

"No, I just needed to talk to you, but it's good to know you're ready to jump into action."

"I just figured you were getting very close. So what did you need?" he whispered. She sat next to him where he'd sat up in the bed. She looked vulnerable and awkward in her nightgown, half stroking and half supporting her belly.

 

"I was just thinking how nice it was...the party I mean. Everybody together, laughing talking, caring about each other," she said.

 

"Yes," he smiled patiently, "it was good to celebrate together. Needed."

 

"Yes, it was what I needed. What we all need as human being. A place where we are loved and cared for regardless our failings or successes," she said smiling lopsidedly. He could see her hesitation that there was something difficult for her to say.

 

"Beverly, What are you trying to tell me?"

 

"It's just that I've been looking for a home all my life and didn't realize it. When I was young I didn't think I wanted one, then after the accident, I thought I didn't need one, but tonight I realized I was wrong."

 

"So you want and need a home?"

 

"Yes and what's more I already have one with the people on this ship... and with you."

 

The statement hung in the air, both unsure what needed to happen next and both a little afraid to hope.

 

"Beverly are you wanting to be involved with me?" He asked quietly with a steady and unreadable voice. She'd hoped to hear some indication of interest or happiness, but after her reaction the last time he opened his heart, she felt perhaps that moment had passed and he was there only out of duty. "Beverly?" She nodded without looking at him.

 

"Well it would appear you have even worse timing than I do," he smiled. "but I am honored and over joyed." With that he lifted her face toward his and kissed her gently.

 

========

 

The doctor held her newborn daughter, exhausted but euphoric. The captain stood beside her bed, face leaned low beside the infant. He marveled at her face, the tiny fingers and toes, thinking of all the wonders he'd seen, this was quite possibly the most miraculous. They spoke in whispered and hushed tones for this was a time for wonder and reverence.

 

"Beverly, what did you decide to name her? Worf suggested Lukara in honor of the mission, but I'm not sure it fits," he said. "Maybe for Jack? Jacqueline?" He offered with his native pronunciation.

 

"I considered it, but now that I've met her, I think Jeannette. If it's ok with you, of course."

 

He nodded, moved my the gesture, "I'm honored," laughing softly he said, "I wish I'd had time to go through the holodeck simulation. I'm not sure I was much help."

 

Eyes drinking in the newborn, she said, "You did fine. The simulations seldom capture the intensity of the moment."

 

"Yes, I can't imagine they would have programmed that kind of language into a training simulation," he said laughing eyes still trained on the tiny face. 

Later she would meet the rest of her family; unconventional uncles and aunts who would undoubtedly dote on her - A klingon for strength, an android to marvel with at the galaxy, a counselor who would always know how she was feeling, an engineer who'd show her she could be anything, and a poker player to teach her to fly and play trombone. The doctor and captain had an overwhelming feeling of peace.

 

The newborn blinked her tiny eyes at the soft voices. "Good morning, Jeannette. Welcome aboard," he whispered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Independence Day from this. I was losing interest so I'm sure I will have to go back and make sure it fits with the other chapters. For the P/C shippers it should be a fun chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired from hearing Gates McFadden saying how they had to hide her behind all kinds of stuff because they didn’t want to write her pregnancy into the show.  This is what might have been, if it had been written.
> 
> Later chapters will be changes to episodes to incorporate her pregnancy.


End file.
